Those Times

I’ve spent a great deal of my time on this blog detailing abuse and trauma, and not just a few mental health crises. I’ve discussed my history in pretty graphic detail, and yet, I haven’t really told the entire story. There’s quite a bit you haven’t heard of, ever.

Now, there’s a few reasons for keeping part of my life wholly private, even though I honestly think the very concept of privacy is going extinct…I don’t like discussing my job online, because a lot of what I do as a therapist is pretty intimate, and I don’t believe there would be a way of sharing my day to day activities without exposing someone else, so to speak.

I’m not a fan of discussing current romantic relationships, for pretty much the same reason.

I don’t share the trauma overlaps with my family in detail. I’m pretty sure that’s a good call, too. there are stories and events that really aren’t mine to share, even though I was clearly affected.

So, in short, I don’t share what’s not mine. Or, I try.

Now, that all being said, I am choosing to discuss family in this edition of my oft-forgotten blog. I want to expand on my writing a bit. It’s been a long while since I spent any significant time on writing that wasn’t social media related, and goddamn, that’s a dangerous echo chamber to find yourself screaming into. I really need to find my way out of my obsession with likes and comments, but that’s something to unpack a different day than now.

My sister, R, lives in salt lake city nowadays and has done so for for a few years, and I never mention her. We don’t hang out as often as you may think, if you stumble upon us together. I find her to be infinitely funny, so very intelligent, confident and brave in ways I dream to be. When we spend time together, it’s a wonderful experience and a balm for my soul. She’s brutally clever and quick witted. She’s possibly the smartest person I know. I’m not even exaggerating.

I spent a long time in my adulthood alienating myself and distancing my life from my family, and there was a great deal of bullshit that went down when I was ending my marriage that really didn’t help…and that, my dears, is not my story. In short, there have been quite a few reasons for R to keep her distance from me, and I am quite grateful that we have the closeness that we do. It’s been a long road and I still feel quite a bit of shame regarding the whole period of my life.

One thing I respect about R is that she doesn’t give a damn about an apology that doesn’t include changed behavior. I was, needless to say, not on my best behavior in the marriage, or in the divorce, but so much has changed since then, and bless her soul for sticking around.

This afternoon, I will visit her lovely home and we will watch Hokum, eat snacks, and spend time. Normally, this wouldn’t make it to the blog, because it’s not exciting or stunning to the average person. I am, however, making an effort to document the GOOD stuff, not just the trials. It really is pretty remarkable how close we are as of today. I’m so very happy to have her around.

Oh and guys, Oscar LOVES her…it’s a miracle, honestly, because he haaaaaates 99% of humans, other than me, the boyfriend, and the doggy daycare staff. But somehow, magically, he’s cool with R. It’s awesome.

Happy Birthday, sis!