Etti is officially a big sister!

Pardon the pause, Poe (new kitten) was being a cliche little cat and walking across my keyboard. In any case, my current animal headcount is 7…a snail, beta, two hermit crabs, two kitties, and one very jealous Oscar. I am nothing if not a prolific pet mom. Yes, they all need to be here, and no, I don’t have any more space.

Oh, and I suppose, with the bird feeder, I have a few other half-pets…they can certainly live without me, but they also empty the feeder within two days. So that counts, kind of.

Summer is upon us, and the week before last brought with it a brief but terrifying (as always) bout of mania. I managed to get it under control fairly quickly with half from the boyfriend and the support circle, but it tired me the hell out and I spent the majority of my pre-planned 5 day weekend coming down from the manic high. the nice thing is, I know exactly what happened this time: I ran out of meds on a Sunday (well, had a half-dose left), didn’t call to refill until too late on Monday, and didn’t get the actual meds until later on Tuesday when I was already not feeling great (aren’t understatements cute?).

What does mania feel like, Jady? Hmm. How to describe. You know the jump-start, heart pounding feeling you get when waking from a nightmare? Imagine that level of discomfort except it doesn’t dissipate in a few quiet moments, but instead, snowballs downhill, gaining force and speed. Your pulse is racing, your head is spinning with every horrific fear and worry that the brain can conceive. Sometimes, for me, paranoia comes forward and plucks red pieces of reason away from my skull. I get giddy, wired to the gills, and frightened of everything, everyone, and every scenario my impressively large imagination can conceive. It’s quite the experience, one that’s immediately familiar and yet foreign. There’s no high like a manic high, and getting high ain’t my jam any more.

In short, my little sister gave me the advice to put a marker in my schedule to note when mania happens, so I can look back on the last year and see what to expect. My bipolar is mostly seasonal, manic summers and depressive winters, and although I know that intuitively at this point, it’s nice to have written proof as a reminder. It’s also wildly difficult to blog in an episode, so that’s a continuing struggle. I always INTEND to get my life on a schedule, blogging included, but we’ve seen how well that works out, haven’t we, loyal reader?

Other things in my life include, in no particular order:

Doing a donations-based, half-scripted/half-improvised show for the fringe festival. Rehearsals have been long and frequent, but the cast is full of delightful humans and the improv part is my particular favorite…the script has been tricky, since I’m the understudy for the entire cast, and that means knowing the entire show. I’m nervous and yet eager to cover for any performer that I might, but my goodness, it’s a lot to know.

Doing a leadership development thingy at my job, I’ll devote a post to it when it really kicks off, but believe me, I;m so excited. I get some pretty impressive mentoring and professional attention, and I feel both special and delighted about it. It’s also extra, over-the-call-of-duty work to be done, which y’all know I always opt for. My perfectionism will be a concern, and taking feedback without taking it personally will be a challenge, but this is a job I hope to keep for a long, long while, and it’s very gratifying to see that the desire to invest in my career is mutual. Yay!

Doing art projects infrequently and really want to focus on C’s baby gifts…I mean, she’s already given birth, so my timeline is fairly freeform, but it’d be nice to get them done. I’ve been using a combo of watercolor, sharpie, pastel and collage for these pieces, and they’re quite lovely…will post pictures when completed. Oh, and collage is deeply time consuming. Just so you know.

I’m happy to branch off from a basic diary to further discussions and topics if you’ve been missing my writing, feel free to make requests. For now…yeah, I need to cut and glue paper before Sunday washes over me and I lose all motivation. I suppose we will see.