Doldrums of Winter

I can’t believe how sober I am right now. However, I believe you should honor your pain, really feel it; the alternative is to bottle it up until it erupts and decimates your life. As husband would say: when you worry you suffer twice. I say, hurt now and hurt less later. Same philosophy really. Kind of.

I very probably will never get pregnant. Allow that a moment to settle in. I might adopt, I might foster, I might have a surrogate. I might be a mom. But not the way I dreamed about for years. And it hurts so deeply. I keep expecting to cough really hard and spit out at least a sliver of my heart.

Fur babies comfort me a bit. My family has been wonderful.

But ouch, loyal reader.