I am taking the GRE in approximately 10 hours. My mother-in-law is visiting my house this afternoon and I can’t be home/awake to help clean it. The sky is falling, too, but who gives a damn about that part?

I have taken a few practice tests for the GRE and my math score did not bode well. Turns out that I don’t know crap about math. Which is so very important for someone doing a Masters of Public Health. So very important. God knows I can’t perform duties related to public health without knowing how to find the area of a parallelogram. That’s how you cure addicts, didn’t you know? Sigh. 

Originally I was looking at the University of Utah, but right now I’m more interested in Westminster, which has affordable tuition and less stringent entry guidelines. So my plan is to take the GRE today at 4, see how I do, and ask the folks at Westminster whether they’d consider someone with my scores. Then I either get them interested in me or I have to take the test again, and actually…bear with me now….study consistently the next time. Not just this late night cramming session that I have interrupted to write and tell you all about. (Naysayers, consider this my practice for the essay writing portion of the exam). 

But Jady, isn’t this week also your Husband’s birthday week/the anniversary of your first date? I thought you’d never ask. We have dinner on Tuesday with the parents, then in-home massages on Wednesday, the big day itself. My birthday gift to Chris is the massage, and my anniversary gift to him is that he doesn’t have to get me anything for the anniversary. 

HE DOES NOT HAVE TO BUY ME A THING!

  
Anyway, I hear an alarm going off in the bedroom beside my desk, which means the girl who gets up at 6:30 to work out every damn morning is slowly waking up. It also means I have an hour before the drive before the feeding dogs before meds before sleep before using the terrible directions I have to get to the testing place before signing in to take the test without a phone or calculator or scratch paper (not even kidding) before I take the GRE around the same time my MIL visits my house. 

NO STRESS WHATSOEVER

WHATEVER. When that bloody test is over, it’s all gravy. 

And by gravy I mean vodka tonics. 
Wish me luck, loyal reader!