So, if you didn’t know, somehow even though you read my blog and should really know these things, anyway if you didn’t know I am on disability which means that I get a certain allotment of financial assistance every month from the government. It also means that I have to do silly things like get a doctors note to have my drivers license renewed and report back to Social Security about how I spend the money they give me. I’ve made around three or four reports per year every year since I started receiving benefits. Mostly the process is pretty painless but it can still be rather annoying to have to jump through every hoop they set before me.

Anyway, last week I received a strange letter from the Social Security office saying that I had an over payment of about $3000, comprising of the benefits received for the last three months. They said in this letter that I should have received no benefits and I needed to repay the money within 30 days. Obviously I thought this was pretty strange, as did my husband, so he went down to the office and ask them on my behalf what the hell was going on. 

Apparently the clerk was very apologetic but said that for some reason or other, I was supposed to have stopped receiving benefits on April 2014 until now. This meant that there was an over payment of approximately $35,000… Which they also expected paid back within 30 days. Considering $35,000 is more than I make in a year at my job, it is hardly a small sum that they wish for me to repay. Our only option now is to appeal their decision and delay the payback. All of this is happening just after I learned that I got into the Masters program which is something that is a financial concern as well so you can imagine how I am feeling. Not only is it truly impossible to repay $35,000, it’s going to be a really financially difficult to get a masters degree on the amount of money that I will be making per month without that government aid. 

I am really scared for the future but I am trying very hard to be brave.

I feel sometimes as if people judge me for taking government assistance when I am not debilitatingly physically disabled. I’m not in a wheelchair, I’m not blind or deaf, I can speak and move for myself. However I feel it is important to add that being bipolar as well as having a disabled hand, is more than enough difficulty for me to handle, thanks. It’s not as if I am cheating the system, if you look on their website for Social Security disability insurance, there’s no hard number for exactly when you make too much money in your profession to receive benefits from the government. There’s no rules exactly about working, except for that they seem to be pretty happy with you when you do have a job even though you are receiving benefits. In my mind more workers is better workers, don’t you think? I honestly can’t believe they would rather have me sitting at home then making a living and using the benefits to supplement my income which is not impressive at the very least. It’s nothing against my boss or my profession it’s just a job that doesn’t really make the big bucks. On the other hand it is doing something that I love which is working with The disabled. I probably wouldn’t have gone into social work as a Masters program if I hadn’t been able to work at jobs like these for years before I made the decision to go for my higher education. 

Now the question becomes how much exactly is this going to damage my life. I am beyond stressed out and I do wish to apologize if I am not my usual bubbly self for the next little while… For once it doesn’t have to do with a medication change ha ha.

Now if you’ll excuse me loyal reader, I havenightmares to realize.