I want to go to bed. It’s 8:30 freakin pm. This is a bad sign. 
Technically, it’s a symptom. You see, signs are objective, symptoms are reported by the patient and thus subjective. What you see here, written down for the world to read, are all my symptoms. They’re as honest as I am capable of being, but they’ll always be symptoms. So here goes:
1. Fatigue/general laziness- it’s been a struggle getting up every morning. I want to go to bed crazy early every night. Basically, if there’s no sunlight, I’m out. There’s very little sunlight nowadays, have you noticed? It’s maddening. 
2. Restlessness- fidgeting, making lists, playing with my phone. Always something. Biting my lips to the point where I just know they’re going to crack open like every winter, despite the new fancy lip gloss I got. 
3. Boredom-laziness leads to boredom, boredom begets restlessness, restlessness fades into fatigue, fatigue leads to laziness….
4. Anxiety- watching myself be such a mess makes me feel like the whole world is watching and judging. So much judging. 
5. Over analyzing simple social interactions- Le duh. 
So there’s that. This isn’t a cry for help, I have plenty of that, it’s a record to remind myself later how these things start. When I’m clawing the walls (mentally) in a puddle of blah (physically) come February, I can look back on this and be all like “oh man, I was fidgeting? Musta been fun to have any will to move my body at all…” ha ha. Ha. Ha. So funny from a distance. 
Anyway, my day was normal and uneventful. The highlight of the day was seeing Husband briefly, when we got dinner at the Evil Burrito Corporation made particularly famous by South Park. He was in a surprisingly good mood, and super cute with me. He’s going to Oakland this weekend, and has a stupid schedule until he leaves, so I’ll take whatever short moments I have with him. I love that man so much. 
Loyal reader, don’t be worried about me. This happens. It’s life with Bipolar. Hopefully the holidays will be a small reprieve from the winter doldrums. Frankly I’m hoping for a trip somewhere sunny sometime in my future. But I’ll settle for cuddling with the fur-babies and the cute Husband. Have a good night, and enjoy your sanity if you have it. I envy those with peace of mind.