“People want leadership…and in the absence of genuine leadership, they’ll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They’re so thirsty for it they’ll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there’s no water, they’ll drink the sand.”

The Husband is working two jobs, I’m working full time, and even with the holiday weekend, I spent maybe 4 hours with him without distraction/while he was at home and awake. Usually, i would berate myself for not using this free time to be more productive, get started on my goals, etc. However, i went to the gym today and did laundry at the parents house, even made them dinner, and I’m blogging now like I’m supposed to, and I don’t feel any better.

The Husband isn’t the leader of this family, we both are,  but he is my heart. When he’s working 70 hours a week, I suffer too, because I see him literally diminishing…he’s lost weight, he needs to sleep almost the entire time he’s home…it’s exhausting to see and experience. I feel more for him than any person i’ve known, and I can’t do diddily to help him feel better. Believe me, I’ve tried.

So what is the job of a person lacking leadership in their house? Put on your big-girl pants and soldier on, accept the ending of a holiday weekend that was less Husband-full than hoped for, and sip the sand just enough to keep your stomach from caving in. The ‘sand’ in my case is sewing projects, cleaning and laundry. I will do things I only do when I feel idle and useless, like setting up my outfits for the entire week to hang chronologically in my closet. I will take a shower and do what I never generally bother to do, shave my legs, put on lotion. I will clear out the laundry room, to make space for the new washer and dryer coming this week, holy crap!

I will love my husband from afar, and remind myself of his old job, when he was gone for a week at a time, sometimes longer, and I will be happy to know that sometime tonight, he will be home and sleeping in his own bed.

Oh, and after a long and awesome talk with my stepfather, I will looking into *redacted* programs for studying to be a *redacted*. (don’t want to jinx it.)

I really appreciate you reading this, loyal reader, although you’re pretty quiet lately. I don’t mind (lies) but I do like hearing from you (truth).

By the way, if you’re in SLC this Saturday, I’m doing an improv show. Maybe you’ll come down and have a look.