I’ve been dragging my feet. 

I have been living in a situation I cannot abide for much longer; it’s not sustainable, it’s not making me happy, it’s not entirely safe for my physical or emotional wellbeing. I have, however, been holding back from telling the people I need to tell that I am unhappy and unwell. Why, my loyal reader asks? Because change is something I deeply dislike, and I’m gamey. 

By gamey, I mean I can tolerate a lot of discomfort before I break. Example: pit bulls are considered a gamey breed. One of the aspects of the pit bull that was specifically bred into them is that they’ll keep fighting even when they’re hurt, sometimes especially so. That’s why when you have a pit bull for a pet, you have to be careful of injuries, sometimes they’re much more painful than the dog will lead you to believe. 

I may complain to my family and friends about my injuries, sure, but I’ll keep fighting despite the pain. 

The ugly truth is that I need to talk to someone who has made my life terribly difficult for the last two months. I have no indication that they care about my feelings on this matter, and I have no clue if they will listen to what I say. However, I need to stand up for myself…the alternative is lying down and taking it. 

So. Gotta put on my big girl ovaries. 

(Good god I hate confrontation)

Damn it, Jady, you want to be a mother someday. Is this shit more difficult than child birth? No? Then consider it pain tolerance practice. 
Sigh. 

Anyway…I’m sending out holiday cards to my loved ones this year, and I would LOVE to send one to the loyal reader(s) who have frequented this blog. So if you want a card, send me your name and address to jadybyproxy AT gmail.com. I’m getting the cards sent as early as possible, so sooner is better. C’mon, who doesn’t love a handwritten note for whichever end-of-the-year holiday you do or do not celebrate? At the most, it’s an expression of my love for you. At the least, rolling paper. 

Good morning, loyal reader, and wish me luck being brave.