Note the mural of southern Utah’s lovely terrain?  You have to work to notice these things when you’re a stress-bucket like I am right now.  I am doing laundry to have work clothes so I can work tonight. Good news: one of my coworkers wants time off to watch their son play football, so I’m going in 4.5 hours early and that will offset the shitty schedule for THIS week. Bad news: I’m actually feeling like crap and was looking forward to a day with my hubby, which is cut short by this turn of events. 

I’m not feeling depressed persay, the way that many people use the word, to evoke thoughts of sadness…. but I know I am because I slept for 10 hours and am still exhausted, I’m not even enjoying laundry, which is usually my favorite chore, and the benign workings of the world are pissing me off unduly.

I want to curl up in a ball and go to bed for a week. I want to be rich enough to do that without ruining my life. I want a job where people actually say, hey girl, you doing alright? It’s ok to say no. 

Most of all I want the security that you can only get from having money in savings, and I want to have earned it through my intelligence, skills, talents, and experience. I want to be in an America where that actually happens for the people who deserve it. Instead of being an America where it’s all like, just get another degree, lazybones. And go into extreme debt to fund that venture. And if you want babies, well, too fucking bad for your career. Fuck. That. 

 I am NOT in a good place to be in charge of addicts. Sure they’re entitled, sure they’re aggressively selfish (yes that’s a thing), but they’re also vulnerable…so I better get my shit together. Check out that fucking mural. Yeah, mindfully and shit. Boom. 

Probably going to blog later, loyal reader, but thought I should put a bookmark in this page of my life. 

Everyone is stupid and I want to sleep forever. 

Really hoping the meds start working soon.